respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
