There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
