If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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