i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
