that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Found the puke drawer
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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