Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've blown a few things in my day
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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