PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
