You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
