you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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