Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
