Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
