Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
