Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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