i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.