apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it