I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.