You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
