problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
