He is an equal opportunity slut.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
