I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
