They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
