Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME