She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
