can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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