like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
