We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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