that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
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if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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