You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
