ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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