Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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