Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
