wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize