did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
