Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
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Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
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He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in