you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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