Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.