And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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