Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
