Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
