i think my mom watched the whole time
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
