so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
