Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
