my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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