Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm drunk

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Is that why you're texting me

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Yes

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  (405): I'm drunk (615): Is that why you're texting me (405): Yes http://tfl.nu/5xy8
  Replies (16) Good night (1547) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved

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  (386): Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved http://tfl.nu/rva0
  Replies (10) Good night (2882) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

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  (516): Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right? http://tfl.nu/loiq
  Replies (9) Good night (3598) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

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  (518): haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting http://tfl.nu/19oh
  Replies (20) Good night (2250) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.

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  (617): I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made. http://tfl.nu/enkt
  Replies (8) Good night (1096) Bad night (3388)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?

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  (720): My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this? http://tfl.nu/za6z
  Replies (18) Good night (5991) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.

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  (614): trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room. http://tfl.nu/9qb1
  Replies (17) Good night (1043) Bad night (5908)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.

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  (231): You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me. http://tfl.nu/n997
  Replies (15) Good night (4668) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.

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  (239): He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes. http://tfl.nu/tunx
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (2871)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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  (281): She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out http://tfl.nu/guh4
  Replies (33) Good night (11133) Bad night (1131)
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  (365): View more from

  As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.

  (1-365): View more from

  I was judging you.

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  (365): As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over. (1-365): I was judging you. http://tfl.nu/3tin
  Replies (3) Good night (3091) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.

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  (970): Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack. http://tfl.nu/afhg
  Replies (2) Good night (368) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.

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  (817): He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before. http://tfl.nu/79xu
  Replies (4) Good night (917) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"

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  (508): Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this" http://tfl.nu/ybbk
  Replies (1) Good night (1022) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom

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  (802): I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom http://tfl.nu/99fe
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (237)

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