her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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