Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  How was last night?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.

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  (251): How was last night? (334): She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast. http://tfl.nu/qxti
  Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (2246)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..

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  (314): When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar.. http://tfl.nu/d5fi
  Replies (18) Good night (6846) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.

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  (803): I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do. http://tfl.nu/xze3
  Replies (22) Good night (8980) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

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  (757): Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore. http://tfl.nu/pqxc
  Replies (31) Good night (1622) Bad night (4863)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up

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  (217): What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up http://tfl.nu/ae7w
  Replies (43) Good night (1090) Bad night (6321)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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  (318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m
  Replies (7) Good night (3515) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.

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  (810): She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again. http://tfl.nu/2zep
  Replies (1) Good night (3260) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.

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  (330): I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now. http://tfl.nu/yqbr
  Replies (10) Good night (3579) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.

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  (503): I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend. http://tfl.nu/inq1
  Replies (32) Good night (940) Bad night (3147)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.

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  (303): I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls. http://tfl.nu/h774
  Replies (2) Good night (1376) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.

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  (909): This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday. http://tfl.nu/sxb3
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.

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  (612): She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did. http://tfl.nu/uugg
  Replies (9) Good night (1206) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.

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  (310): oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars. http://tfl.nu/b3kf
  Replies (4) Good night (683) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.

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  (214): Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds. http://tfl.nu/9ird
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (+66): View more from Thailand

  The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"

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  (+66): The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?" http://tfl.nu/bzhn
  Replies (0) Good night (568) Bad night (359)

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