i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
