My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
