STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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