I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
