using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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