this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
