one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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