love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
