I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He has the fingertips of a God
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