I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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