If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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