I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You are a genius and a whore.
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