whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
