I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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