hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
