so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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