I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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