remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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