I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
