Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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