Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
