she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
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