Christians are straight up FREAKS
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
